Hello 2nd Trimester

We are HERE!!!!! We made it to 14 weeks which means we are in the "safe zone"!!! After a year of trying I think that we deserve to finally be here! So glad that we are planning birthing classes and doula setting up...and just all around Happy Pregnancy things!!!
June 1st is going to get here sooooooo SOON!

Graduation Day!!

It has been a LONG 12 weeks and some odd days....70 some odd needles..stuck in a hospital bed with an IV due to dehydration..so sick it hurts to move...IP's worried like crazy all the time...but we are FINALLY here...we are 12 weeks which means.. NO MORE NEEDLES!! NO MORE TORONTO TRIPS and time to relax and breath!!!

Our appointment went off without a hitch yesterday...it was loooooong but everything is perfect and exactly where it is suppose to be on the little surro-bean! With a Heart Beat of 164...which I am thinking maybe boy...we will see!

IP's pointed out that we only have 6 months left...this is going to FLY by! Nausea seems to be settling a bit *knock on wood*...

Happy early birthday to me!!!

So for those of you that have been following our journey you will know that it has taken ALOT longer than any of us have expected... It first started with a pregnancy that was on the rocks straight from the get go, unto a transfer that gave us positive #'s, then negative #'s the next day..then followed by 2 more negative transfers....let me tell you giving up was NOT in our vocabulary...we just had to give it ONE more try with just a little bit different protocol...and a little bit higher spirits...

Our last attempt was on September 12, we transferred ONE five day murola embryo (you'll remember in the past we always transferred 3day embryos) so with all the research we did we were SUPER hopeful for this round!!!! I did a round of acupuncture pre and post transfer, and it was glorious for once...I slept thru both sessions..which I think made for a really relaxed Angie!!!!

Due to the Toronto international film festival I was unable to get a hotel for the transfer, so I stayed with the IP's over night...they treated me very well and feed me and their impanting embryo very well!

Then came the dreaded two week wait.... On day 4 I got a faint line... But was worried my eyes were playing tricks on me, so I went out and bought the expensive first response tests..day 7...double lines..day 10 SUPER double lines...wow I think we're pregnant!!!

Then came the beta's..which could make anyone go crazy...50 is considered pregnant...*drum roll please*

Beat a #1: 678!!!! Beta #2: 1748 (doubling every 30 or so hours!!!)


I was breathing a HUGE sigh of relief...my IP's on the other hand want to see their baby on screen, with a heartbeat :)

So today I lay in the clinic..holding my breath...then a HUGE smile spreads across the technicians face...."WOW...baby looks great!!!! Look at that heartbeat!!!" IM tears up and I choke back tears...we're here...5 transfers and almost one whole year later and we are finally here!!!!

As we are leaving the clinic I said can you guys breath now???? They both say "NO"...lol...when I'm overdue they will be able to breathe... Ganna be a LOOOONG winter for them!!!

Grow baby grow!!!!!

BFN

Round four was a bust :( I tested a couple of times thru the week and was getting this very very faint line..but nothing to write home about...so I stopped testing at 9 days post transfer...to save mine and my Fiancé's sanity...so I went on faith...my symptoms were intense....I was sick, my breasts were sore...I was SURE I was pregnant...went in for my beta's expecting a low #...but a number...and I got a 2....50 and above is prego...so I was defiantly not...my heart is broken..and is aching for my IP's....I don't know what the next step is...but as soon as I know...you all will know...

My daily dose

As I sit here with a needle nestled between my thighs, warming it slightly so it won't hurt so much going in, I thought it would be neat to show you just what a surrogate has to take for medications to make a baby :)

I've got 2 Estrace 3x a day... 1 baby asprin.. 2 Doxycycline (for 3 days)..1 prego vitamin and 2ml of progesterone for the next 12 weeks!!

YUP I'm a walking pharmacy these days!! BUT I am more than willing to take it all if it means a sweet baby in the end for my awesome IP's!!

IM had her egg retrieval today and got 31 eggs!!!! WOOOT WOOT!!! They are all off getting genetic testing right now so that we get the best possible transfer!!

Looks like transfer is set for either Thursday or Saturday...depending on how the embroys grow in the next few days! Looking forward to great results in the next few days!!!

Off to do my injection!!!

The choice to be positive

I strongly believe that we have a choice...we chose to be positive and we chose to be negative...
We choose to let good things into our lives...and we choose to allow bad things into your lives. If you have ever seen the Secret...you will know exactly what I am talking about..if not...Watch it!! It's impacting!!! The power of positive thinking has brought about GREAT things in my life...and I have many stories I could share where they have effected me.

Going into my first transfer I was all positive and full of energy and excited...yet the baby still passed...it was heart breaking and it took a real toll on my "positive thinking" theory...Well after 2 failed transfer...I decided I needed to pull up my big girl pants and get super positive again!!! SO here it goes:

I will get pregnant
The time is NOW
I will carry this healthy baby to term
I welcome abundance into my life
I am successful
I am ready and open
I am comfortable with who I am
I create abundance in all I say and do
I am a positive and happy person
I am ready to be a surrogate
I deserve perfect health and a vaginal delivery
My womb is a healthy place for a baby
I am intelligent and know what I want
I enjoy life
I can say "NO" when needed
The knowledge I need is coming to me
I am having an impact on my fertility
I have hope
I am taking charge of my fertility

"Whether you think you can or you think you can't- your right" - Henry Ford

I believe in the power of my words...and I believe I have an impact on what happens in my life. I am stepping forward with my life full of positivity...

Ball is rolling..

I was honestly starting to go crazy...every time I turn around someone is asking me, how's the surrogacy going? Are you pregnant yet? What's going on...and my response was always..Not pregnant don't really know what the next step is...

WELL I finally got a call today....

AND!!

We are starting our drug protocol *whew* I was getting antsy with all this waiting around!!!

IM is set for an egg retrieval in a few weeks time and then some awesome and healthy embabies are going to stick!!!

*fingers crossed* Can't wait for this journey to get kick started again!!!

Try try again...

Transfer #3 was a BIG bust...got Beta back yesterday and it came in at a whopping 1!

Was really hoping this was "the ONE" for IP's. No such luck.

Now were off for a break til June/July'ish...so I'm back to running and ganna try and shed this extra weight the hormones have gladly given me!

Thinking lots of positive thoughts as I prepare for our next leg in our journey!

3x3x3= SuPeR LuCk!!!!

After a LOOOOOOOOONG drive to downtown Toronto (left at 6:25am rolled in at 11am!) We got to Create...just on time!!!

I meet with an acupuncturist who has restored my faith in acupuncture. He used little needles and this gentle tapping technique and it was *gasp* r-e-l-a-x-i-n-g!!!

Then came the waiting game...acupuncture was all done with by 12:30, and I was feeling all warm and fuzzy and enjoying my relaxing huge massage chair...but didn't get in for the transfer until 3... was scheduled for 12:30
(...oh fertility clinics...)

But here's the cool thing:

Transfer was at 3pm, 3rd try & 3 embabies!!

Here's Hoping this is a super lucky sign!!!

2 week wait begins now...send me all your positive vibes and happy energy...grow babies grow!!

(IM took the pic with my camera of embryos...horrible pic...but I thought I'd add it...)

Mini update!

So ladies and gents...

My IP's had a very successful visit with Dr.L last week...he is quite confident that we are getting so close to successfully carrying that he wants to keep trying with IM's eggs!!! Which hello- AMAZING news for them!!!

So we are back on Estrace and baby asprin and scheduled to do a lining check for April 8th and IP's are hoping for a transfer for the Tuesday after that...

I took a break from the acupuncture as I was officially starting to look like a bruised peach and felt it was stressing me out more than helping our cause.

So we are booking a mini acupuncture session for my transfer where we will use the 3 remaining frozen embabies!! *fingers crossed* this is the ONE!!! (3rd times the charm right!?!)

*IF* this transfer doesn't work we are going to give it one more shot...and IM will harvest more eggs and do a fresh transfer come june/july'ish....either way they are harvesting eggs so they can give baby bean a sibling in the future!!

Lots of positive energy come from this surro-mamma here!!!

Can't wait to update with GREAT news....LET the roller coaster begin!!!

Cheers!!!

Not so much...

We did a transfer of 5 em-babies 3 weeks ago and things we're going great!! Our levels came in at 135 originally...which was AWESOME!!! Then 3 days later they came in at only 30 more...and today we got the dreaded news that we are all the way down to 59....which means we went from WOOOO we're pregnant!!! Let's celebrate...to whoops...we're not....All within a week...

So now to wait and see what Dr.L tells IP's to do. They have an appointment on Thursday and I will have to wait and see what he says....*fingers crossed* we're going to try again!!!

((hugs)) to my IP's...this is quite the roller coaster for them...I hope we can come to wonderful end to the journey soon!

Excuse me while I turn into a crazy $%&!

CAUTION!!!!!!!!
Angie is starting Estrace...
Be warned....
She will be cranky...
Might snap at you for NO REASON...
And may seem a little bit crazy!!!
BUT
She is still underneath all those hormones...
The SAME Angie!!

10 Days til lining check!!!

The waiting game...

Its been a week and a bit since my DNC and my hormones are finally starting to feel like they are some what "normal" (whatever "normal" is!) But James says I am much happier and not blowing up over little things! Man those hormones are a killer!!!

So now we are on a waiting games...times seems to be moving slowing in the surrogacy journey now, because I am impatiently waiting another shot at getting prego!!

I have booked an acupuncture appointment with a 70 year old man who has been practicing Chinese and natural medicine for a VERY LONG time!! I am so excited to go for my appointment to get poked and prodded and improve our chances of making this baby(ies) stick!!!!

With a heavy heart...

It's with a heavy heart that I share, that my surro-babe grew wings today.

We went in for our 9weeks and 5days ultrasound to discover that the little bean had no heart beat.

It has been such a roller coaster, but the eternal optimist in me, never expected such bad news. As the tech told us today that the baby was dead, my heart sunk and the room seemed to stand still. It was shocking.

We are now awaiting for the baby to pass, and to get another period and then we are going to try again. There will be a happy ending to this journey, now we just have to wait a little bit longer.

Sweet dreams surro-babe.