Grow baby grow!

Went for my ultrasound today and the tech was very tight lipped..my IM kept asking her, is that a baby? What is that? And she kept ignoring her...lol! Then she called in for a second opinion...geez heart was pumping at this point...the manger comes in and wrecks complete havoic on my poor va-ja-ja.

And she beams..."CONGRATS!...!!, you have ONE perfect, beautiful baby!" No heartbeat, but you are 5wks-5d so we won't see one for at least another 3-4days. WOOO HOO! Things are looking good..

Then we go to see Dr.L and he has a diff. story...yes...there is a baby now, but no heartbeat...so be prepared for a DNC next sunday if there isn't one....geeeez Dr.L, way to rain on our parade... :)

OH well...we all decide to be happy and positive and little bebe Z is getting its heartbeat...just give em a few days! So I am off to Create...AGAIN...(3rd time this month next sunday!) YEY!!! I am happy...and very excited grow...baby grow!!!!

I'll take a BIG glass of Positive!

What a roller coaster the past two days have been!

So Beta 3 was 1043 and Beta 4 was 1117....NOT good...we should be doubling.

So I got the call from Create to STOP all meds, that the pregnancy was not viable any longer. Oh I was crushed...so was not expecting this! And that I needed to come into Create ASAP for an ultrasound to make sure it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy. More stress....

I got to Create today, the whole time reciting to myself, everything is going to be ok...everything is going to be ok...

IM (intended Mom) and I squeeze into the ultrasound room and then tada....4 freaking embies are still in me...they are small BUT we still have a fighting chance!

Dr.L was surprised they were still all there and said get back on those meds...your beta is now at 1337...not doubling BUT lets give this the benifit of the doubt and see you back here next sat.

Ok...we all feel like we can breath again...now we are praying and hoping for a miracle...come on little babies grow!

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers and send LOTS of sticky vibes this way! I am positively crusading for these babies!

Soul Sister

I wanted to share this beautiful poem that my soul sister Cynthia sent me. I got this while sitting and waiting to get my 3rd Beta test and bawled my eyes out...oh hormones how I love you!

Beta test so far:
TEST 1: 500
TEST 2: 963
We're growing here!

There hopes and dreams lie within you
kicking and turning
keeping you and james up at night (not yett butt)
and tired all day...
...For "them" you are a making a fantasy come alive
so giving and selfless, warm and caring
my admiration for you knows no end
The fruit you will bear is there future
there present is filled with anticipation and wonder...
As you grow (more beautiful each day)
know that my thoughts are with you friend
My heart beats with yours
my eyes will cry yours tears
while you make there world brighter and happier.
I am here for you on this trip
path of pure bliss
from an amazing miss
LOVE YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOUL

Double Lines!!!

OMG I am so freaking excited! Looking like first times the charm!! I have tested positive since Saturday, which will be 6 day post transfer, and that was faint but my lines keep getting darker and tonight I thought I'd try again to just to be sure and HOLY COW.. double lines and the positive line showed up before the confirmed test line showed up...its was instant! YUP we're preggo! YEYEYEYEYEYEYEY!!!!!

Beta tests to confirm on Sunday!

Hello Embies!

Today was the day.....eeekkkkk!!! BABY TIME!!!! As I drank my 1 liter of water and took my cab ride on this rainy morning, I am filled with excitment and anticipation. I can't wait for the procedure, unsure of what to expect, I am a little nervous. But once we got there and into my gown and in my super duper relaxing massage chair all my anixety melts away. The IP's (intended parents) and I sat for about an hour just discussing our lives and how excited we are for the baby(ies).

We got called finally!! And before I knew it...it was over!

The procedure was quick and easy...felt exactly like getting a pap smear. Coolest thing ever was watching the 4 embroys on the big screen, they were all diveded into cells and 3 off the eggs were close together and 1 was off on its own...it was so neat to watch! The dr grabed a tube like needle and baaam...she was in!

Fingers crossed for one or two healthy babies!!!

Now back to relaxing with my feet up in my giant king size bed!

lEtS gO eGgs...LeTs GOoOoOoOo!!!!

Today is the day that my IM (Intended Mother) gets her egg retrieval!! I am cheering away over here big time for her!! Come on eggies grow!!!

If all goes well..my transfer is booked for Sunday!!!!

Which will make for a very busy weekend...I will be off on Saturday at 9pm after my mum's 50th b-day bash to go get some embies implanted!!

Needles start tonight!!!!!!

Toronto or Bust!

Driving with two 4 year olds to the BIG T.O....maybe, just maybe...was NOT the brightest idea that we have had lately!! Once we hit Woodstock L&M kept saying are we there yet...oh that dreaded saying was repeated 1000000x's! I think we may have to invest in one of those electronic things that play movies...sigh...but as soon as we hit our exit for the TTC the kids we're so excited...TRAIN TIME! They we're over the moon and had a GREAT time swimming inside and outside in the frezzing cold! The hotel was amazing for them!!

I had my appointment at 8am and was informed that I have a "thick and lucious" linning that is all ready for babies! YEY!!!!

Just waiting on the exciting call to start my needles!!! ((eeeeek))

The journey has begun

Surrogacy is an arrangement where a woman agrees to become pregnant and deliver a child for a contracted party. She may be the child's genetic mother (the more traditional form of surrogacy), or she may, as a 'carrier', carry the pregnancy to delivery after having been implanted with an embryo, the latter being an illegal medical procedure in some jurisdictions, for example, Costa Rica, and sometimes highly regulated in other countries.

It's started...the contracts are written, signed and dotted...the meds are started and the journey has begun.

I can't remember when I haven't thought about being a surrogate, I look back in my journals when I was in highschool and see entries where I talk about it and wanting to give the gift of a family to people who can't.

James and I started looking into surrogacy about a year ago. We contacted an organization and started thinking really hard about it. July rolled around this year, and it just seemed right. We we're ready to share our lives with another family and give them the family they so desired.

We have been matched with an amazing couple, and feel so privileged to be apart of their journey.

So far...I have taken Birth Control for 2 weeks and now we are onto Estrogen...(eeek... sorry if I get crazy!!!) We are on our way next weekend to Toronto to get an ultrasound to see if my lining is thick and ready for babies!!!

I am so excited!!!