Not so much...

We did a transfer of 5 em-babies 3 weeks ago and things we're going great!! Our levels came in at 135 originally...which was AWESOME!!! Then 3 days later they came in at only 30 more...and today we got the dreaded news that we are all the way down to 59....which means we went from WOOOO we're pregnant!!! Let's celebrate...to whoops...we're not....All within a week...

So now to wait and see what Dr.L tells IP's to do. They have an appointment on Thursday and I will have to wait and see what he says....*fingers crossed* we're going to try again!!!

((hugs)) to my IP's...this is quite the roller coaster for them...I hope we can come to wonderful end to the journey soon!

Excuse me while I turn into a crazy $%&!

CAUTION!!!!!!!!
Angie is starting Estrace...
Be warned....
She will be cranky...
Might snap at you for NO REASON...
And may seem a little bit crazy!!!
BUT
She is still underneath all those hormones...
The SAME Angie!!

10 Days til lining check!!!

The waiting game...

Its been a week and a bit since my DNC and my hormones are finally starting to feel like they are some what "normal" (whatever "normal" is!) But James says I am much happier and not blowing up over little things! Man those hormones are a killer!!!

So now we are on a waiting games...times seems to be moving slowing in the surrogacy journey now, because I am impatiently waiting another shot at getting prego!!

I have booked an acupuncture appointment with a 70 year old man who has been practicing Chinese and natural medicine for a VERY LONG time!! I am so excited to go for my appointment to get poked and prodded and improve our chances of making this baby(ies) stick!!!!

With a heavy heart...

It's with a heavy heart that I share, that my surro-babe grew wings today.

We went in for our 9weeks and 5days ultrasound to discover that the little bean had no heart beat.

It has been such a roller coaster, but the eternal optimist in me, never expected such bad news. As the tech told us today that the baby was dead, my heart sunk and the room seemed to stand still. It was shocking.

We are now awaiting for the baby to pass, and to get another period and then we are going to try again. There will be a happy ending to this journey, now we just have to wait a little bit longer.

Sweet dreams surro-babe.

Grow baby grow!

Went for my ultrasound today and the tech was very tight lipped..my IM kept asking her, is that a baby? What is that? And she kept ignoring her...lol! Then she called in for a second opinion...geez heart was pumping at this point...the manger comes in and wrecks complete havoic on my poor va-ja-ja.

And she beams..."CONGRATS!...!!, you have ONE perfect, beautiful baby!" No heartbeat, but you are 5wks-5d so we won't see one for at least another 3-4days. WOOO HOO! Things are looking good..

Then we go to see Dr.L and he has a diff. story...yes...there is a baby now, but no heartbeat...so be prepared for a DNC next sunday if there isn't one....geeeez Dr.L, way to rain on our parade... :)

OH well...we all decide to be happy and positive and little bebe Z is getting its heartbeat...just give em a few days! So I am off to Create...AGAIN...(3rd time this month next sunday!) YEY!!! I am happy...and very excited grow...baby grow!!!!

I'll take a BIG glass of Positive!

What a roller coaster the past two days have been!

So Beta 3 was 1043 and Beta 4 was 1117....NOT good...we should be doubling.

So I got the call from Create to STOP all meds, that the pregnancy was not viable any longer. Oh I was crushed...so was not expecting this! And that I needed to come into Create ASAP for an ultrasound to make sure it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy. More stress....

I got to Create today, the whole time reciting to myself, everything is going to be ok...everything is going to be ok...

IM (intended Mom) and I squeeze into the ultrasound room and then tada....4 freaking embies are still in me...they are small BUT we still have a fighting chance!

Dr.L was surprised they were still all there and said get back on those meds...your beta is now at 1337...not doubling BUT lets give this the benifit of the doubt and see you back here next sat.

Ok...we all feel like we can breath again...now we are praying and hoping for a miracle...come on little babies grow!

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers and send LOTS of sticky vibes this way! I am positively crusading for these babies!

Soul Sister

I wanted to share this beautiful poem that my soul sister Cynthia sent me. I got this while sitting and waiting to get my 3rd Beta test and bawled my eyes out...oh hormones how I love you!

Beta test so far:
TEST 1: 500
TEST 2: 963
We're growing here!

There hopes and dreams lie within you
kicking and turning
keeping you and james up at night (not yett butt)
and tired all day...
...For "them" you are a making a fantasy come alive
so giving and selfless, warm and caring
my admiration for you knows no end
The fruit you will bear is there future
there present is filled with anticipation and wonder...
As you grow (more beautiful each day)
know that my thoughts are with you friend
My heart beats with yours
my eyes will cry yours tears
while you make there world brighter and happier.
I am here for you on this trip
path of pure bliss
from an amazing miss
LOVE YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOUL